Kick Ass Woman

When it comes to making doors open, it probably doesn’t hurt to have the face of a Parisian runway model.

With a resume packed with high-end modeling and acting gigs, August McLaughlin could have kick-backed with her super-modely self and rested on easy street.

She didn’t.

Instead, she chose to use her talent, smarts, and optimistic voice, to dedicate her life to something much deeper. August spends her days speaking out on behalf of others. For that, my friend wins my accolades as a thoroughly lovely, Kiss-Ass Woman.

August, now a nationally recognized health and sexuality writer, with work appearing in DAME Magazine, the Huffington Post (how stinkin’cool is that?!) and more, has a mission in this life.

While recovering from a severe eating disorder, August realized that a lack of sexual empowerment played a significant role in her long-held body image issues. She then began noticing that she was far from a sole case. She had her “ah ha” moment. August made the decision to completely change her career path from one of projecting air-brushed perfectionism, to inspiring women to embrace their real-life bodies, sexuality and selves, and to live passion-infused lives.

A Minnesota native, August told me, “Sex ed is severely limited in our culture and sexuality in general remains taboo—especially for women. All of this contributes to problems that run rampant in women’s lives: depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, high levels of stress, and more.

When I started writing about female sexuality (I say “female” because I include girls; we’re sexual beings from the get-go), there were many terms for male sexual pleasure in my slang dictionary, but zero for women’s. Zilch. Not a one. Yet there are countless demeaning sexual terms related to us (“slut” being one of the worst).”

 She wrote and published her first novel, In Her Shadow, a psych thriller novel loosely based on her experience with anorexia. Then she started her own radio show and gave it a name that’s hard to ignore.

“I trademarked Girl Boner®, a term and concept I’d been curious about since grade school, because I believe language holds power. But for me, it’s far more than a term, blog and podcast. It’s part of a cultural shift. A movement. When women are empowered sexually, we all benefit—men included.”

 Her show covers all sorts of topics related to women’s sexuality and she often invites guest-experts to come in-studio to share their knowledge. On one of my personal favorite shows, August discussed how the way a man treats you in bed is indicative of how he will treat you in a relationship. It seemed so obvious once she pointed it out, and yet it was such a profound observation for me. Looking back on my own relationships, I could see she was completely right on. What an insightful gift to pass onto our sisters, daughters, and girlfriends.

But here’s what I find most inspiring about August. It’s her supreme belief in the power of goodness and hard work. “I have so much work to do and growth to gain, but I’m incredibly happy. When we do work that fulfills us emotionally (which, for me, has to feel impactful), our whole worlds open up, … we uplift others in countless meaningful ways. I’m savoring the heck out of this ride.”

I love the idea that being a better, happier person, in and of itself, is a positive for everyone around us. That’s a goal worth striving for.

To learn more about August and her mission you can check out her video on YOUTUBEor subscribe to Girl Boner Radio® on iTunes—or Stitcher Radio or her website. You’ll be glad you did.

Thank you for reading! Holly Kammier is a former journalist who has worked everywhere from CNN in Washington, D.C. and KCOP-TV in Los Angeles, to the NBC affiliate in small-town Medford, Oregon. The blogger and UCLA honors graduate is the author of the memoir, Could Have Been Holly Wood. Kingston Court, is her debut novel. A California native and mother of two, Holly currently splits her time between San Diego, California and Henderson, Nevada. Co-creator of Acorn Author Services & Publishing, she is available for speaking engagements and content editing. www.hkammier.com

Sorry this post is a little late in the week…I haven’t had access to wifi…cue massive anxiety!!!

Any whoo……I’m so excited to introduce you to my web designer, friend, and a super Kick Ass Woman, Lisa Work. Lisa is quirky, smart, loud, and funny.

At 42 she just graduated from Colorado State University while raising two children on her own 24/7 and running her own business. It took her 5 years, taking the minimum course load to qualify for full-time, except for her last semester which was BRUTAL – 19 credits. Lisa reminds me a lot of my hard working mom who raised my sister and me as a single mom, while simultaneously attending college full-time (pulling straight A’s!) and cutting hair forty-plus hours a week. Like my mom, Lisa is definitely someone who inspires me.

In a recent blog, Lisa talked about her reasons for sacrificing sleep and free-time to do something that mattered even more to her. Here’s what she had to say:

One month ago I graduated from college.

I’m so glad that I decided to go back to school, even if the road was not always easy and there were many – MANY times that I wanted to quit.

When I first separated from my husband, I really wasn’t sure what I was going to do.  I had two small kiddos and had been a stay at home mom for 5 years.  I had dabbled here and there with some things and my husband and I created a few different businesses, with varying degrees of success.

For each of them I was the one who created our website and managed all of our marketing.  That’s what led me back to school.  I felt that my design skills were lacking and I wanted to learn more.

And learn more, I did!  For sure a ton about design and visual storytelling and how to use Photoshop and all the stuff that helps me do my job here.   But, I learned a lot more than all of that.

Things about myself, life, living and what it really takes to succeed on my own.

These are the 4 biggest lessons that I’m taking with me from these past 5 years:

1.  I am an artist.  And so are you.  We all are.

I entered school wanting some help with how to make things look pretty on my computer.  I didn’t enter into it thinking that I would become an actual graphic designer!  And I for sure never, ever thought I could claim the title of ARTIST.

Way back forever, when I first attempted college, I was a math major, because I’m good at math.  But I hated it and ended up dropping out. I always loved art and was friends with creative people, but never thought **I** was an artist.

One month ago, I received a Bachelor of Fine Arts, with an emphasis in painting + photography!   I’ve learned and taught myself how to draw, and how to SEE, and how to bring my ideas into a visual reality.  Along the way I became convinced that anyone – ANYONE can be creative.  It just takes commitment, discipline and practice, AND a willingness to not know what you’re doing most of the time – but to experiment and try things anyway.

2.  Things don’t have to be perfect.

I was just going through some of my first college art projects and remembering how much time and effort and agony I would spend on each one of them, wanting so badly for the finished product to be PERFECT!

Now, I just paint – or shoot pictures, or throw pottery – whatever I’m doing.  I just do it.  It’s more about the process and feeling my way and expressing what’s in my heart.  I’m not concerned about perfect, I’m more interested in communicating and sharing my ideas.  I try to bring that into all areas of my life.  It’s not easy to give up perfection, but it does seem to produce better results – results that are more authentic and satisfying.

3.  Keep going, no matter what.

I wanted to quit.  A lot.  Often.  There were times when big stuff was happening with my kids and they really needed me, way more from me than I was able to give while juggling all of it.

There were times when it all seemed so stupid, my business was doing well and I wasn’t sure if I was really learning anything new in school.  I just wanted to get on with it, you know?

And then there was the exhaustion.  Some days I’d be up at 4am to finish an assignment, then get the kids up and off to school, then do my 50 minute drive to campus, where I’d be in the studio all day, then drive home, get the kids, make dinner, and work on client projects until 1am.  EXHAUSTED!

But, I kept going.  I had already invested so much and I knew that finishing would send a message to my kids about what I felt was really important.

What surprised me though, was how important that message ended up being for ME.  The day of my graduation was one of the proudest days of my life.  Who I was for myself changed.  I did it and doing so meant that I could do anything.  A ton of self doubt melted away up there on that stage and I know that I’m not the same person now.  

There are many things that I have given up in my life.  Haven’t we all?  There are things I’ve finished and things that just expired on their own.  For me, the fact that I kept going – through some of the biggest challenges I’ve ever come up against over these past five years proved to ME that pushing through is worth it.

4.  Just put yourself out there!

Sitting through art critiques is one of the most excruciating things ever. There you are – having just poured your heart and soul into an art piece and then you stand before your instructor and your peers and get to hear what works and what doesn’t about what you’ve created.

It’s not easy.  And scary as hell.  And there were many times when I totally failed to create something that I was proud of, but I put it out there anyway.

And I survived.

But, most importantly, I learned something.  Especially the times when the feedback wasn’t positive.  It made me a better artist.  AND it made me a better risk taker.  It made it easier to risk putting my ideas out for the world to see and not have failure crush my spirit.  Which is HUGE!

I now have it firmly in my bones to keep going – no matter what, to keep putting myself out there.  To share what I love, what I dream about and even the fears and boundaries that hold me back.

Sharing all of it makes me a better business woman, artist, designer, consultant and mom.

Worth every penny and all the time and effort.  Going back to college was one of the best things I’ve ever done.

Lisa’s mission is to make visions and dreams a reality. Her passion for making people’s lives meaningful and powerful is pretty awesome. And for all of that, she easily earns a crown for being a Kick Ass Woman!

Check out some of her cool pictures and learn more about her life’s work by visiting her website.